Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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