Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
