I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
