The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
