Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
