i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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