so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Come share oat with me in your robe
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize