I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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