I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
