I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
