When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
