I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
