oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
