You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize