what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
