I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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