I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
