i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
