that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize