You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
