Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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