I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
