Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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