It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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