so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
