yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
