gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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