just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
