I'm sorry my penis didn't work
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
