he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He uses pillows to masturbate.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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