Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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