You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
