You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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