Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
