You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
