I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
