That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
