whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
