he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize