So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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