You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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