are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
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Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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