I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I party with great urgency now.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize