So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
A+ Viking dick
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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