Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
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