Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
