at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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