then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
