Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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