Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Randomize
