hotel room ftw
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
