Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
