Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
