there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
