i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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