You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
