You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
