This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
