I wish my penis had an off switch
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
