I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
