i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
