Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
