i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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